The Scene:
Day Five, Baby Making Pills
Day Five, Baby Making Pills
The Players:
Brain: Wants a Baby, Prepared for a Baby, Willing to go the Distance
Uterus: Sat on the couch doing nothing for the past 4 months, wants disability, not interested in paying rent, totally unprepared for sudden influx of demands (hormones).
Brain: Wants a Baby, Prepared for a Baby, Willing to go the Distance
Uterus: Sat on the couch doing nothing for the past 4 months, wants disability, not interested in paying rent, totally unprepared for sudden influx of demands (hormones).
Brain: You're totally crazy. Get out of the house. Quickly, before you tear your husband's head off. Go to Target.
Uterus: I don't understand why I have to do the laundry, cook, clean, and unpack while he watches football. Does he not see me working here? I hate him. A pox on his family.
Brain: Grab purse. Leave now.
Mouth: "Sorry for being kind of crazy today, I'm going to get out of your hair and go to Target for a bit!"
(at Target)
Brain: Ok, look! Target! And you're all by yourself. You could spend hours here browsing the sales! Isn't football nice?
Uterus: Ooo! Look! I see red tags over there! Ooo! Pink! I like Pink!
Brain: That's the baby section, stay away.
Uterus: But Karla just had a baby! We could surprise her with these little shoes! And pink mittens! And this precious little onesie! (drags brain deeper into the baby section)
Brain: Two dollars for some booties... Well, that is a good deal...
Uterus: And look! Over here! One day we should get this stroller, and these diapers, and look, there's a cute little baby over there! I hope we get a girl. I hope she has blonde curly hair and blue eyes like Rob's...
...That mom over there is like 18. WTF... I'm TWENTY FIVE! I'M SUPPOSED TO BE FERTILE!!!
Brain: Stop it. No tantrums in Target. Let's go get some chocolate.
Uterus: And some red lipstick.
Brain: Fine.
It's been 4 months since I've had a period and I've totally forgotten how to sanely navigate PMS. Think happy thoughts. ;)
